Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Taking Risks

Which one is harder? Finding a new job or finding the right place to live? Yes being is love is hard but that's a whole other type of challenge and that experience involves sharing and willingness on the part of two people to communicate.

Having a job and a place to live are basic needs that must be met before you can do the hard work of managing painful emotions. In order to learn how to live with intense emotions, you need a living space that makes you feel safe.

If you are sharing your living space (not a partner, but a roommate) with someone who understands your privacy it is because you communicated your needs. Expressing your basic needs in a shared space begins with your knowing what you must have. For example, if you are someone who needs quiet after 10pm, you must be willing to state that priority and you must hear your roommate's desires as well so that you share healthy, supportive environment.

Make a list of what is important to you in your living space and in the individual with whom you will share that space. Sometimes you must make adjustments to your priorities. For example you may find the perfect physical space in the right neighborhood but you must also be comfortable with the person with whom you will be sharing space. What are you both willing to give in order to live together?

Be willing to compromise. Stick to your own values. Take care of yourself and stay mindful of what really matters to you. Know yourself and what is important to you.

Keep breathing.

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