They look like really nice hiking boots. Brown suede with thick black rubber soles that reach up the sides approximately two inches and there is a thick leather collar right next to the ankle bone on these shoes. When these boots are issued the soldier is instructed to wear them now to avoid the problems that might come with impressively engineered boots.
She told me they were more comfortable than the old heavy desert boots and they are actually built in proportion to woman's feet. She told me that this new boot even with the shorter ankle support, was more comfortable and stronger than the heavy desert boot. Her old ankle injury felt even better in these new boots.
How interesting that the uniform the soldiers are now wearing are actually based on ergonomically appropriate construction. That is, the boots are now built for the unique structure of each gender's foot. With all the stress of being down range there's something reassuring about knowing that the boots they are now receiving provide the real support for those hard working feet.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
They're Leaving
She's saying goodbye for only a while to her fiancee. He's patting his son on the back but he dare not open his mouth to speak. She watches as her brother puts his enormous pack with all the gear on his back. The young woman over there, the one with the amazing blue eyes holds the hands of her fiancee. They are both assigned to Afghanistan but at different ends of the country.
This group is going down range tonight. They've been waiting in the hanger as the final clearance is performed for the aircraft that will fly them to Germany. The Sgt. has passed out the medication they will be taking daily throughout the deployment. The predictable joking is heard as the bottles are passed to the individuals to whom they are assigned. She popped the top and a handful of pills spilled. No one will admit to the anxiety that is thick enough in the hanger it could be cut like cheese.
The Dfac (dining facility) provides a last hot meal - roast beef, baked potatoes and rice, green beans, salad with choice of dressings. There is fruit - apples, oranges and for the first time since I've been eating at the Dfac there are peaches and plums. Packaged cookies, snack bars and a variety of chips are also offered. The food might not be haute cuisine it is basic, familiar and the troops are encouraged to take multiple servings to get them through the 18 hours (or more) of travel time.
My instructions to myself for this deployment: Focus on this moment here. Don't think about when the plan may be ready. Don't focus on where the troops are going. Just stay present. Breathe.
This group is going down range tonight. They've been waiting in the hanger as the final clearance is performed for the aircraft that will fly them to Germany. The Sgt. has passed out the medication they will be taking daily throughout the deployment. The predictable joking is heard as the bottles are passed to the individuals to whom they are assigned. She popped the top and a handful of pills spilled. No one will admit to the anxiety that is thick enough in the hanger it could be cut like cheese.
The Dfac (dining facility) provides a last hot meal - roast beef, baked potatoes and rice, green beans, salad with choice of dressings. There is fruit - apples, oranges and for the first time since I've been eating at the Dfac there are peaches and plums. Packaged cookies, snack bars and a variety of chips are also offered. The food might not be haute cuisine it is basic, familiar and the troops are encouraged to take multiple servings to get them through the 18 hours (or more) of travel time.
My instructions to myself for this deployment: Focus on this moment here. Don't think about when the plan may be ready. Don't focus on where the troops are going. Just stay present. Breathe.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Homecoming vs. Reunion
There is a difference. Homecoming is the joy of seeing your loved one for the first time in fifteen months. It is those ecstatic moments and hours when you connect for the first time and realize he or she is really back with you. Then the hard part begins.
Reunion is a process. It begins before the loved one - parent, spouse, partner, child or sibling - actually arrives. There is the combination of relief that she or he has survived and is returning; there is the expectation that it will be so good to have this loved one back and there is the worry. This worry is also a real part of the return.
The reunion involves adjusting to the changes that have inevitably occurred during the soldier's deployment. One partner has assumed new responsibilities while the other has filled his or her responsibilities down range. Each partner has made adjustments and changes. Sometimes these changes are happening for the third or fourth time because the soldier has been deployed multiple times.
The greatest pressure on families and loved ones comes from the expectations everyone has about how "it will be" now that he or she has returned. Expectations are based on events that have happened in the past and MAY happen again in the future. But these events are NOT happening at this moment. One instruction for managing the process of reunion is: "stay in this present moment."
Reunion is a process. It begins before the loved one - parent, spouse, partner, child or sibling - actually arrives. There is the combination of relief that she or he has survived and is returning; there is the expectation that it will be so good to have this loved one back and there is the worry. This worry is also a real part of the return.
The reunion involves adjusting to the changes that have inevitably occurred during the soldier's deployment. One partner has assumed new responsibilities while the other has filled his or her responsibilities down range. Each partner has made adjustments and changes. Sometimes these changes are happening for the third or fourth time because the soldier has been deployed multiple times.
The greatest pressure on families and loved ones comes from the expectations everyone has about how "it will be" now that he or she has returned. Expectations are based on events that have happened in the past and MAY happen again in the future. But these events are NOT happening at this moment. One instruction for managing the process of reunion is: "stay in this present moment."
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Welcoming them Home
This night which begin with arriving at the empty hanger at 3AM ran from anxious expectation to overwhelming love. The last soldiers from the brigade with which I have been working returned from Iraq at 4:30 AM Thursday.
There was a Southern summer rain storm raging until approximately ten minutes before the doors opened to let the soldiers off the plane. As they walked down the stairs into formation the rain stopped. The soldiers then marched into the hanger where we were all waiting and the commander officially thanked them and welcomed them home.
They were given approximately 15 minutes to hug and kiss their families, their children, their parents and siblings and then they piled onto the bus to go back to the brigade headquarters to pick up their gear. Some of the soldiers didn't have family greeting them and my beautiful assignment was to provide some of the warmth a family might provide. What an amazing experience!
This night was so beautiful. I am so blessed to have been part of their homecoming.
There was a Southern summer rain storm raging until approximately ten minutes before the doors opened to let the soldiers off the plane. As they walked down the stairs into formation the rain stopped. The soldiers then marched into the hanger where we were all waiting and the commander officially thanked them and welcomed them home.
They were given approximately 15 minutes to hug and kiss their families, their children, their parents and siblings and then they piled onto the bus to go back to the brigade headquarters to pick up their gear. Some of the soldiers didn't have family greeting them and my beautiful assignment was to provide some of the warmth a family might provide. What an amazing experience!
This night was so beautiful. I am so blessed to have been part of their homecoming.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Army as Fashion Trend Setter
First the fabric is lovely. Wrinkle proof, color that blends in and goes with every environment and the cut of the pants and tops is excellent. It used to be that there was a terrible olive green for the basic uniform - think MASH - then there was the pattern designed for jungle wear - Viet Nam or Grenada but now, now our computers have created a sleek pixilated print that serves in all terrains.
But the cut of these 2009 uniforms is really outstanding. Fitted through the hips and waist, stylish cargo style pockets on the legs and the pockets the army has so intelligently added on the sleeves of these tailored tunics. . . well, finally the soldiers can keep their pens on the sleeves right where the writing utensil should be for immediate use.
The biggest innovation is not the fine pattern of the fabric or the addition of those smartly placed useful pockets but the very nicely tailored uniforms for the pregnant soldiers. The first time I saw the maternity outfit I didn't realize the reason for the wider tunic was pregnancy. How impressive this change in styling is for all soldiers as well as for those female soldiers who continue to serve throughout their pregnancies.
Yes, this job is not easy nor is it ever stress-free but at least now the outfits add a little pizazz to the work environment.
But the cut of these 2009 uniforms is really outstanding. Fitted through the hips and waist, stylish cargo style pockets on the legs and the pockets the army has so intelligently added on the sleeves of these tailored tunics. . . well, finally the soldiers can keep their pens on the sleeves right where the writing utensil should be for immediate use.
The biggest innovation is not the fine pattern of the fabric or the addition of those smartly placed useful pockets but the very nicely tailored uniforms for the pregnant soldiers. The first time I saw the maternity outfit I didn't realize the reason for the wider tunic was pregnancy. How impressive this change in styling is for all soldiers as well as for those female soldiers who continue to serve throughout their pregnancies.
Yes, this job is not easy nor is it ever stress-free but at least now the outfits add a little pizazz to the work environment.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
His x-box, Her Cats, Flood Insurance
Her cats eat the plants. What can she do to protect the plant she is picking up on her drive back home? Maybe a philodendrine placed with the aloe vera she is retrieving. The cats might stay away from that poisonous plant, then again, cats can be clever. Her flood insurance has gone up. Last year the floods kept her in her home for six weeks but, fortunately there was no damage.
We talked about these issues and how well her son had done in his training to become a Medic. She was deservedly proud. He had not done well in high school; in fact, he had just barely graduated and then he got this assignment when he enlisted and he has shone. She talked about how proud she is of his taking on this assignment and she talked about how relieved she is that his father is also down range. They may even be together in Afghanistan.
And there were the tears. Her son is being deployed tonight. At midnight. He is nineteen years old. She was embarrassed when she became tearful and then she said, "Oh, it's okay for you to see them. You're the person with whom I can cry."
She expressed in her simple observation the job for which I am at this Army base. She is an Army wife AND mother. Her experience and her training have prepared her for her husband's absence and her son's deployment and she has intense feelings for which the military culture has not given her permission to display. I am with her at breakfast and I can admire her strength and I can see the intensity of her fear for the safety of her son and her husband. My job is to validate these powerful feelings and to remind her of the impressive job she is doing to take care of her son and her husband.
Oh, yes, the x-box. She will take her son's x-box to his high school pal to use while the son is in Afghanistan.
We talked about these issues and how well her son had done in his training to become a Medic. She was deservedly proud. He had not done well in high school; in fact, he had just barely graduated and then he got this assignment when he enlisted and he has shone. She talked about how proud she is of his taking on this assignment and she talked about how relieved she is that his father is also down range. They may even be together in Afghanistan.
And there were the tears. Her son is being deployed tonight. At midnight. He is nineteen years old. She was embarrassed when she became tearful and then she said, "Oh, it's okay for you to see them. You're the person with whom I can cry."
She expressed in her simple observation the job for which I am at this Army base. She is an Army wife AND mother. Her experience and her training have prepared her for her husband's absence and her son's deployment and she has intense feelings for which the military culture has not given her permission to display. I am with her at breakfast and I can admire her strength and I can see the intensity of her fear for the safety of her son and her husband. My job is to validate these powerful feelings and to remind her of the impressive job she is doing to take care of her son and her husband.
Oh, yes, the x-box. She will take her son's x-box to his high school pal to use while the son is in Afghanistan.
Monday, July 27, 2009
NC Summer Heat, Breathing, Yoga
Maintaining my yoga and sitting practice is a challenge here. The temperature, the numbers of meetings I must attend AND the Southern cooking (issue for another post)and without those breaks, working in this environment is not easy. And the summer heat adds to my own stress.
Keeping up my yoga and sitting practice make it easier for me to deal with the silly things I find myself in the midst of every day: I can not easily find my way around this base. I count the day a major success when I don't get lost at least once.
When I haven't done yoga, I find myself expressing my stress in painful ways: last week I smashed my thumb in the car door. Oh, I'm okay but it was another reminder that I had not taken the time to just breathe and really figure out where I was supposed to go before heading out of the car to find out where I was! Then the day I arrived back at the hotel in the midst of that torrential rain storm, I locked my keys in the car.
Everything turned out fine. I learned my lesson and I am now signing off in order to do some yoga and sit.
Keep breathing.
Keeping up my yoga and sitting practice make it easier for me to deal with the silly things I find myself in the midst of every day: I can not easily find my way around this base. I count the day a major success when I don't get lost at least once.
When I haven't done yoga, I find myself expressing my stress in painful ways: last week I smashed my thumb in the car door. Oh, I'm okay but it was another reminder that I had not taken the time to just breathe and really figure out where I was supposed to go before heading out of the car to find out where I was! Then the day I arrived back at the hotel in the midst of that torrential rain storm, I locked my keys in the car.
Everything turned out fine. I learned my lesson and I am now signing off in order to do some yoga and sit.
Keep breathing.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
It's All About Being Prepared
Being prepared for the predictable: equipment and knowing how to reach each other through e-mail, cell phone, twitter or even the family blog. And then there's preparing for the predictable, unpredictable: the new baby will arrive while he's deployed or the six year old will get strep throat while staying with the soldier's mother. Or even the being prepared because the soldier is deployed during the Jewish New Year and mom wants the two little girls to go to services at a congregation near this Army base.
All of these situations have been presented to me in the past two weeks. I am a problem solver so I eagerly take on the challenge of finding resources that will help the stateside family members move through these issues. The objective is to insure that the soldier doesn't also have the added stress of family situations she or he can't control.
Sometimes the best solution is simply to get the family members to talk to each other. This conversation can ease the frustration of not knowing for the distant member as well as for the parent or grandparent and even the child who is here in the states.
As much as I rail against cell phones, the ability to contact each other, to speak to her spouse or his mother is a very powerful tool in managing the stress of these deployments.
Keep breathing.
All of these situations have been presented to me in the past two weeks. I am a problem solver so I eagerly take on the challenge of finding resources that will help the stateside family members move through these issues. The objective is to insure that the soldier doesn't also have the added stress of family situations she or he can't control.
Sometimes the best solution is simply to get the family members to talk to each other. This conversation can ease the frustration of not knowing for the distant member as well as for the parent or grandparent and even the child who is here in the states.
As much as I rail against cell phones, the ability to contact each other, to speak to her spouse or his mother is a very powerful tool in managing the stress of these deployments.
Keep breathing.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Summer Rain, Coloring Books and Passports
Sounds pretty innocent, doesn't it?
This week I spoke to at least eight different groups of soldiers, their wives, their parents and their children. Sometimes the group included all of these different people and sometimes the briefing was for the soldiers alone. One group at which I appeared to describe the support we provide was a briefing on maintaining computer security. Another briefing directed to soldiers and their families included instructions on communicating with their families in a manner that does not reveal any information that could be used against the troops.
What is really wonderful about these briefings is the acceptance I am receiving from the officers who want this information about support spread widely. On the other hand I am working with a cultures which until very recently has not accepted the psychological impact of the trauma the soldiers confront daily while down range.
The families are given coloring books and crayons so that with their children they can discuss the experience of a parent or both parents leaving on deployment. The spouses are instructed to get their children's passports in case they must leave the States to be with their injured spouse. And through all of this information there was a summer thunder shower that reminded me of one aspect of summer in the South for which I have yearned.
This week I spoke to at least eight different groups of soldiers, their wives, their parents and their children. Sometimes the group included all of these different people and sometimes the briefing was for the soldiers alone. One group at which I appeared to describe the support we provide was a briefing on maintaining computer security. Another briefing directed to soldiers and their families included instructions on communicating with their families in a manner that does not reveal any information that could be used against the troops.
What is really wonderful about these briefings is the acceptance I am receiving from the officers who want this information about support spread widely. On the other hand I am working with a cultures which until very recently has not accepted the psychological impact of the trauma the soldiers confront daily while down range.
The families are given coloring books and crayons so that with their children they can discuss the experience of a parent or both parents leaving on deployment. The spouses are instructed to get their children's passports in case they must leave the States to be with their injured spouse. And through all of this information there was a summer thunder shower that reminded me of one aspect of summer in the South for which I have yearned.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Dirty Diapers, Two dogs and a Cat and Deployment
They are a young couple. It's such a romantic story. They met, got pregnant and married within two months of meeting. And now the baby boy is here, they have roaches and he's being deployed to Afghanistan next week.
This couple has enough stressful events to try a couple with ten years together. They came to me so that I could wave the magic wand of counseling and fix everything so that he could leave for his assignment with only the so-called normal fears. Of course she is scared of what may happen to her husband and naturally he is worried too.
The first instruction I gave them is to identify what you are feeling and tell him or tell her. He was reminded that it is okay to be scared of what he is facing in his deployment. That fear does not diminish his strength or bravery. Acknowledging that you are afraid is another way of being strong. You can't take care of yourself and it is hard to accept the fear she may be feeling if you are unable to admit what you are feeling.
After his predictable mumbling about not feeling that sort of thing and her embarrassment about acknowledging she's scared to tell him she's mad at him for leaving, they actually accepted that these feelings are close to what they have been experiencing.
I want to put my arms around them and protect them both from the anxiety and fear they will be facing in the next weeks. And I look at them and see two lovely people who do love each other AND their country and are doing what together they hope is best for themselves and THEIR country.
This couple has enough stressful events to try a couple with ten years together. They came to me so that I could wave the magic wand of counseling and fix everything so that he could leave for his assignment with only the so-called normal fears. Of course she is scared of what may happen to her husband and naturally he is worried too.
The first instruction I gave them is to identify what you are feeling and tell him or tell her. He was reminded that it is okay to be scared of what he is facing in his deployment. That fear does not diminish his strength or bravery. Acknowledging that you are afraid is another way of being strong. You can't take care of yourself and it is hard to accept the fear she may be feeling if you are unable to admit what you are feeling.
After his predictable mumbling about not feeling that sort of thing and her embarrassment about acknowledging she's scared to tell him she's mad at him for leaving, they actually accepted that these feelings are close to what they have been experiencing.
I want to put my arms around them and protect them both from the anxiety and fear they will be facing in the next weeks. And I look at them and see two lovely people who do love each other AND their country and are doing what together they hope is best for themselves and THEIR country.
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