Hangin' In while I'm Hangin' In

Still no travel orders! Sigh. However, there is a great event this weekend: the Yellow Ribbon pre-deployment and return support program sponsored by the Army for military families. These are wonderful events where individuals get to learn there are other families experiencing the same stresses they are feeling.

And I get to talk to them about ways to manage these feelings. Breathe. Yes, that is one of the tools I discuss at length. Simply slowing down sufficiently to experience a slow, easy breath can be one of the most healing tools anyone can use.

Breathing is the one thing I must continue to remind myself to do these days. On the one hand I am waiting to hear about my assignment and at this moment not even sure it will materialize. On the other hand, I am focusing simply on being right here in the present moment. The one benefit I have received from this uncomfortable waiting is the knowledge that my clients can see the tools I am teaching in actual use.

Breathe. You are fine, in this moment, in this very place. No words are needed only gentle silence.

Re-Up Now

When I was growing up in South Carolina I saw that bumper sticker everywhere. It refers to re-enlisting in the Army. There was a huge basic training post very close to my hometown and cars, baseball caps and even notebooks of friends sported that phrase. Obviously when I was growing up I was not about re-enlisting or even enlisting. Yet, here I am re-upping for another summer with the women and men who are preparing to go to Afghanistan.

I am experiencing a bundle of emotions and excitement about joining another group preparing to serve this country. I am eager to be with those individuals and their families - ranging from the littlest children through the siblings of the soldiers to their parents. It is such a satisfying experience being able to offer a kind ear and a warm handshake. I am also anticipating sadness, anger and fear for these soldiers. They will be part of the surge going to Afghanistan in the very near future.

I will focus on sharing my skills for breathing and staying in the moment. While I can't prevent the painful experiences these individuals will experience, I am hoping some of the tools I will share can be supportive.

Breathe. More to follow.

Coming into the 21st Century

Yeh! I have a new computer. I am re-connected and am eager to share all the events - both heart breaking and kind, challenging and gentle. Mostly I want to offer some insight into the skills gained from surviving the past three months.

Breathe. Yep, same old song but in a different place. Being willing to stop and take a deep breath prevented some potentially nasty encounters from becoming legal hassles and it also made tolerating some very challenging events possible.

So here I am with a new computer. Ready to connect on almost too many levels and ready to share all the excitement about some of the soon to begin new assignments.

I am off to a new job with military families in one week.

Much more to be shared about that experience in the coming weeks.

Breathe, the weather is beautiful, the mortgage is current and there is dog food.

Rainy Day Soup

Perfect day for making soup and I have a fridge filled with celery, carrots and mushrooms as well as grains, onions and chicken stock.

Soup day! I made a sofrito (Italian for the soup or sauce base of chopped carrots, celery, onions and garlic) I added part of two dried Santa Fe red peppers, Israeli couscous, chopped canned tomatoes and chicken sausage and after the vegies had softened and the sausage released some of its juices, I added about 1-1/2 tsp of salt, the chicken stock, tomatoes and about 1/3 cup of red wine. Finally, after these ingredients had simmered for a few minutes I added about a pound of previously sauteed chopped mushrooms.

While it will be better after it is cooled (in fridge overnight) and reheated, I must say, this first bowl is quite good.

Make soup - it's a rainy day.

Dear President Obama

Daily I am listening to the enormous criticism raining down on you and your administration. I am angry that even the people who are ready and eager for change should be so disrespectful of the enormous job you have accepted.

Your willingness to tackle such nasty, huge and complex problems is not only impressive, but reassuring. Your ability to accept responsibility for taking each step to implement change is mature AND wise.

I support your desire for change and I am doing what I can to make my own small space more receptive to change.

Thank you for being so competent and willing to be such an incredible model for adult behavior. Thank you for being my President.

Respectfully submitted,

Susan T. Lindau, LCSW

Catching Up

Where did January and February go?

How did I get so busy? Now I, the therapist of last resort must confront my own emotional overwhelm. I have just learned some very sad news about someone very important to me, a special friend who has been support, counsellor, advisor and, in many ways, more a mother than my own mother was.

How will I deal with her terminal illness? What can I do to help myself? I am feeling both the crushing pain of loosing her and the anguish of living without her support after she is gone.

I can only do what I tell my clients. Stay present. Remember the lessons learned from this relationship. Respect those lessons. I can honor our long relationship by sharing the lessons I learned from her. I can express my sadness in a way that teaches others how to manage their own pain.

A New Year

What a year of changes! Both professional and personal aspects of my life have changed,become richer and more satisfying. If I were asked to identify only one experience that has enhanced my life in 2009 I would have to identify the work with soldiers and their families.

I have learned so much about integrity and bravery and my own sense of patriotism has been refined. I am more thoughtful and circumspect. I find myself responding with more awareness to issues on which I previously had fixed opinions. I look forward to working with more soldiers and the significant people in their lives in this coming year.

As this new year opens it is possible to face it with apprehension about tasks yet undone or with fear about the unknown and unexpected and those negative feelings would get in the way of simply owning this present moment. All we ever really have is this very moment here. Energy invested in the possibility of what might happen or on the other hand focusing on assignments not completed takes our awareness away from what is really happening in the present.

Breathe and accept this moment as all that we ever need or own. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to the creatures - all sentient beings - in your life. And, most important of all, laugh.

A New Year

HELLOOOO

Congratulations!

We got through those challenging days. I survived by doing some actually pretty silly things including gazing at the moon, eating lots of chocolates and watching several thrillers. The closest I got to Christmas spirit was the snow in several of the scenes in the thrillers.

Now it's about breathing and being gentle with ourselves. Maybe even getting files and records ready for the next semester.

Nicest of all is that I am returning to a project started many years ago that was interrupted by a marriage, family crises, a move to Southern California and a change of careers. This adult fantasy is great fun, light, minimal heart break and focuses on dreams of environmental and political peace.

The remainder of this break from office and classroom is a little cooking; I'll get the leak in the bathroom fixed and finally replace that worn-out, broken toaster oven.

Keep thinking those good thoughts AND breathe. Gently enjoy the crisp clean are and the scents of pine in the air. Be of good cheer.

Short Story

Hello

My short story has been posted at http://rosecitysisters.blogspot.com/2009/11/30-condolence-calling.html. Do read it. For laughs.

More about getting through the holidays later.

Smudging - discussion will be posted later.

Keep thinking good thoughts.